once upon a time

I've been staring at my laptop for who knows how long. I should have known, after years of writing on this blog, this is just how I gre...

I've been staring at my laptop for who knows how long. I should have known, after years of writing on this blog, this is just how I greet my readers. Hello from a person struggling to think of a good way to start a comeback post or  should I say story? Yeah, i'm convinced this is a story. Not something you would share to your grandchildren with high hopes of fairy tale endings, though-- not even close.


A girl fell in love
with the idea of love and being in love
Being in love with who, you may ask
to tell the truth, she wouldn't answer with a person's name
but maybe if you ask her about a memory she had
then maybe she would have had a lot to say.
She was a hopeless romantic, maybe she still is
a truckload of happy memories 
drowning in nostalgia and what ifs
trading one heartbreak for another
as her body trembles
more at night
groaning with thoughts
wanting to be with the person
who gave the heartache and sleepless nights

midnight strikes and she's all alone
the thought of it
drains her energy
unable to hide
a familiar feeling
of longing for that person
who can never feel the same way 

maybe this is a vow I call
La Doleur Exquise

a promise I didn't know I made
til I encountered broken smiles and empty promises
and let these feelings habituate
as my heart keeps getting hurt anyway

This is not a love story.
Love always,
Ena

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