PS: Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday.

Your friend, Ena

Have no idea how I just got through a super busy week, but at least I survived. Not too long though, as Monday is fast approaching and I still have plates to do plus another midterm test to study for, but f$ck it, let me stay in bed and write this post instead. (can't believe Im saying this but, YOLO) 

Papers, presentations, exams swimming around in our heads, projects piling up and the stress of amorphous far-off deadlines can really get to you. Waking up from full-nine hours night of sleep still tired, trying to eke enough time out of your schedule just to get all the the things you have to do. Sure, college life is hell life, but I guess thats what makes college life "normal". We are stuck in some sort state of uncertainty, constantly questioning ourselves if we're doing the right thing, If we're going in the right direction. I just want to let you know (if ever you are), that you're not alone. Life seems to be characterized by "how do i know/ what do i do" moments, and thats completely okay. Sometimes in life its okay to allow yourself not to be okay, because its in those moments where you eventually find yourself and what you're looking for. In those moments of confusion, you make mistakes and let those mistakes turn into learning opportunities. I was confused the first days in college (still am), and now I'm just going along with it, kind of like getting the hang of how stressful things can be. Its not about doing good every time, but doing the best you can in everything you do. You may not be doing well now, but later for sure, you're gonna do so much better.  So for the students who are confused (like i am), students who are stressed, students who have already adapted to this sleep deprivation culture due to an overload of activities, students who make Sundays their homework day, students who turn "Friday night out" into "Friday stay in"-- CHEERS......coz in the end, its all going to be f$cking worth it.

P.S;; playlist for you. 

Love always, Ena 

Three weeks ago, I started using film-- and probably the best decision I've ever made. Here's why.

In the age of digital photography and what seems to be the only consistent thing happening ever since who knows when-- a world full of constant change, this girl, typing in my-usual-not so-lady-like favorite sitting position (changing every 10 minutes or until I can no longer stay in the same position), recently started shooting film. I could make this post longer, I mean I can, and Im willing to- but I don't wanna beat around the bush (this time i'll try, i promise), so maybe taking a few minutes of your time(for your cooperation) would be necessary... or not. 

You send your film off to get developed, you have those ideas, ideas of frames that you took, frames you remember taking and hoping you nail that shot. Sure, disappointments and screw ups will come along the way, but with film photography, you just got to learn to be more appreciative, even after not getting the shot you had hoped for. I guess, its the grain-look in the pictures, or maybe it could be the feels I get from looking at it. If you know me well, you'd probably say its the latter, and maybe you're right. The same feeling I get in every frame, its trapped, that feeling, that moment, straight right in the negative. I always find myself searching -- to the point where I sometimes stress myself out finding balance and consistency. Times when Im absolutely sure about something, I hold onto it. But Id lie if I say that I don't regret not holding onto a record of wrongs. "Wrong" may not be entirely accurate (could be coz Im still in denial), but if I put a lot of words into the thought instead of just using the word "wrong",  Its the things that I know I was sure of, just never took the risk, never had the courage to take that "leap of faith". And I know in the end, I got nobody to blame but myself, but if theres someway-- someway I can undo all the things I've done, all the feelings I felt, and all the decisions I've made, I'd definitely press the "wrong" button and let it play. *dramatically throws the controller*.

Personal shenanigans aside, hope you like the photos. <3

Love always, Ena.

P.S I know for sure I did the right thing keeping the film with me.